Faith

Sometimes I feel like the reason why I havent conceived yet is because i dont have enough faith or I let the worldly things et to me. I will talk about the faith later.

I have eliminated alot of worldly thingd from my life, I have quit cussing, I dont drink, or smoke, I have cut out certain types of music, I dont watch certain movies, or shows *even though The Hills is my guilty pleasure.*

But there is one thing that keeps holding me back, I have let it go for months, and then it creeps back into my life. I confess these things to the father. Sometimes I feel like I have an angel on one shoulder and the devil on the other. The Angel keeps telling me "No, you know your hearts desire, and if you keep it up you wont ger your blessing. And then the Devil keeps telling me "Its okay, just one more time, God wont punish you, he ALWAYS forgives".

My heart is going one way but my brain is going another. I can't say I dont know what to do, because I do know what to do. I need to keep praying, and declare over my life that I am free from this sin.

Now my faith, I have it... I talk to the lord, I pray to him. The one thing I dont do is I dont read my word daily like I should. Im not motivated to. I do good for about a week, then I just stop. Sometimes I feel like GOD doesnt hear my prayers, then I go to church and then I hear everyone getting their blessings, but me. Dont get me wrong I acknowledge him, I am blessed, and I thank him for the things he has done foe me. But I want to hear his voice, I want to be able to have a testimony to tell. This entry probably doesnt make sense, but thats just my feeling. Its crazy because as I was writing this entry *During church* It was like my faith was renewed! The message was def. for me. The message was about sifting in the spirit, and the reason why I am feeling like this is probably because GOD is sifting me, so I can get my blessing.

I Wanted to share a song with you all... This is def. my theme song of the week!

Start A Fire

Stupid Comcast!!

I feel like I am neglecting everyone, Especially everyone who is doing ICLW!!
Comcast, is being REALLY stupid right now, and no one is able to come by until next Wednesday...
This sucks!
Tomorrow I have A LOT to catch up on, and I have A LOT of commenting to do!
Please don't forget about me!!!
I will try to write a entry from my BB tonight!
We will see!!

This is me

So... I guess Its No then....

I had a LONG talk with my older sister *Who is like my mother* about cloth diapers, and I have come to the conclusion that it will not work into my lifestyle! I know that by having children my life will change alot, but I am a VERY busy person, and Its not going to change when we add to our family.

Let me give you a little break down on our week!

Monday:

*5-7pm: Youth Worship Practice (Im not on the Youth Worship team but my husband is over the musicians and I help out with the Vocalist)

*7-9Pm: Leadership School (Its our church's bible college, which I know I will have to put on hold once we have a baby, they don't provide childcare

*7-8pm: Once a month we have prayer

Tuesday:

*10-11:45 am :Womens Bible Study

*5:30-6:45: Worship Team Practice

*7-8:30ish: Midweek service

Thank GOD child care is provided at each service

Wednesday:

*6-6:45 Worship team practice

*7-8:30ish: Midweek service

Thursday:

*5:30-9pm- Worship Team practice

Friday:

*Day off

Saturday:

*Hubby has students from 9am-7pm

Sunday:

*8-9am pre-service rehearsal

*9am service

*11am service

Then we start our week over again...

For some of you it may not seem like a lot, BUT I am a BUSY SAHW.

During the day I am running Errands for my husband.

Shoot I BARELY have time to clean my house, let alone do laundry....

Okay alot of you may not agree with this, but its NOT cost efficient for me.

I was doing some research, and now they have Chlorine free diapers, which we will use!

I don't have time to be scrubbing stains off the diapers and stuff!

Is this going to make me a bad mom?

No, We have to go with what fits in our lifestyle.

I want to be the best mom I can be, and by me neglecting things like scrubbing crap off diapers and stuff, will make me feel like I am a bad mom. And I know myself, I get unmotivated quick!

But So you all know, I will be a Co-sleeping, Baby wearing, breastfeeding, selective Vaxing, momma!

Wordless Wednesday *I'm ready...*

To be a mother!

With all of the BFP's this weekend, it made me realize how ready I am.

LORD, Im ready!

When Will it be?

Am I going to see this month after month?

3 years we have tried, 3 years we have been heartbroken.

I just want to know what it feels like to have apart of me growing inside of me.

Yesterday we were so hopeful, We saw the line!

I took another test this morning, and I saw the faint line...

I had to know if it was a BFP or not so I snuck out and got a digital test.

I prayed and prayed... Trying not to get my hopes up.

I swear that was the longest 2 mins of my life.

In that two mins my life could have changed.

But here I am with an empty womb, and a Negative pregnancy test to prove it...

Lord, Do you hear my prayers?

I'm ready.

Show Us Your Life- Kids Names

I don't usually participate in things like this but Kelly over at Kelly's Korner ,Wanted us to share with you all our Kids/future kids names.

I am not a mommy yet, but My husband and I have been picking out names for our future children since we got married!

And yes they have changed, but we are getting somewhere!

DH and I want 5 kids! well, 6 including SS.

I want to have 3 boys and 2 girls! But GOD might not see fit, so I need to have 5 boy names picked and 5 girl names picked! LOL and when the time comes I will choose from a hat! Crazy huh??

LOL Kinda!

I only have 2 girl names and 2 boy names.

**Girls**

Naomi Renae Brady- I absolutely love this name! and it flows!

It means Beautiful, or pleasant! Naomi is also a bible name! She was Ruth's Mother in law, and Jesus was her ancestor! Such a powerful name!

Noelle Janae Brady- I love this name for a little girl! But will only name my daughter Naomi if she is born in the winter time LOL

**Boys**

Nehemiah James Brady- Which means Consoled by God. Nehemiah was a strong leader in the bible! He wrote The book of Nehemiah. He was truly a man after Gods heart.

Joel- We have no middle name for him yet! But I love it! Joel means God is willing. Also a powerful name.

I got a NEW tattoo!!!

Please excuse my Ashiness, and the dirtyness!

My husbands office is so messy!

Oh and!!! My husband GOT A RAISE!!!! WHOOP!!!

Thank you Jesus!!!!

Im on a mission.....

To look like This again!!!

I was 18, 50lbs lighter... and single! LOL I actually took these pictures the day i met my hubby! Love makes you gain weight! I wasnt the skinniest, But I was cute! and I was wearing a size 14/15!!!! Buy the end of the summer i want to be 50lbs lighter! by my 22nd bday *7/7* I want to be 25lbs lighter! Wish me luck yall!!!