Sunday, April 11, 2010

I just can't shake this feeling

My husband and I have been married for 3 years, and in those 3 years His son came to visit us twice! I would say that the combined visits adds up to about a month, thats not alot. My husband and I talked about me bonding with his son, he tells me that sometimes he feels like i dont love his son, which is not true! I love him, its just that i dont know him! I am not use to him being around, things are still awkward between us! Yes he calls me mom, but sometimes i feel like my husband forces him to call me mom, my husband will force him to tell him that he loves me! I want him to do it on his own terms, not because dad tells him to. And sometimes I feel jealous of their bond... I wish I had a child that i could hold and love on... I cant believe that i am saying that I am jealous of my own husband! but I am... I am so afraid to tell my husband how i feel. I dont want to be the step mom that hates their step kids. I had one of those, and it sucked! I think that if Ryan was here from the beginning things would be different. I want to be a good mother figure, but its going to take some time. I should really talk to my husband about my feelings. As soon as i do, i will let you all know how the conversation went!


  1. Good luck at having the convo with him. Im sure it will go fine :)

  2. That must be hard - especially not seeing him that much. There is no way you can bond with someone if youve never really spent time with him.