Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Wordless Wensday!!


Thank you Tillie for starting such an amazing movement!! Ladies, Link up!!!

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Faith

Faith:(N) Reliance, Loyalty, or complete trust in GOD.

In Luke 1:1 Zacherias had an encounter with an angel (Gabriel) who told him that his wife would conceive a son (John) even though both him and his wife Elizabeth were both up in age. Since Zacherias did not believe Gabriel made him mute until John was born. He did not have faith, and did not believe that GOD can do miracles no matter what age you are, no matter how old you are.

Hebrews 11:1-30 talks about all the people who had faith in GOD, and what wonderful things GOD did for them since they has faith. Those scriptures helped me have more faith than ever. Moses, Enoch, Sarah ETC had faith that surpassed all others. Sarah believed, and had faith that she would conceive even though she was up in age. Without faith you wont be blessed. And as I apply this to my life, I am realizing that I have next to little amount of faith about my blessing to come. Its so easy for me to pray and believe for blessing for other people, but what about me?what about what GOD has waiting for me? is it so much for me to believe that GOD is going to bless my womb? I am making an easy task seem like its WAY to hard for God. In Jeremiah32:27 God says "Behold I am Lord, The God of all flesh, is there anything to hard for me?" So is there? NO! Not at all. So here I am saying to God, I am sorry for doubting you, I am sorry for not having the faith I should. I know that one day VERY SOON you will bless my womb and everything else that I am making to big for you will fall into place.


Week 2: Making Your Home A Haven


I just love this challenge! For the past couple of weeks my house has been soo peaceful. This week we should "Make our home SING" Which in the Brady household is easy! Both my husband and I love music! He placd the insturments and I do the singing! We are both on our churches worship team, and tomorrow I am leading a song!! *Nervous*
We love all types of music! but the music that we are loving now is JAZZ, so peaceful.

everyone should go link up at Courtney's blog Women Living Well . She is an amazing women of GOD!

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Giveaway!!!

There is an awesome GIVEAWAY going on RIGHT now over atnaturalmommie.com!! Enter NOW its ends November 12!

Monday, October 4, 2010

Week 1: Making Your Home A Haven



This entry is a little late! Im sorry, Today has been a CRAZY busy day! But today Mrs.Courtney over at Women Living Well kicked off her Making your home a Haven Challenge! I am so happy to be participating.

This week she talks about being a Proverbs 14:1 women "The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down."

This scripture really spoke to me. It made me think about how many times i ignore my husband or my step son who is ONLY with us during the weekends. It makes me sad to think I have been this women. I remember growing up my mom was a SAHM and all of her time was devoted to her small family, I always said that I want to be the mom or that wife. My husband has this call on his life to be a pastor. How can i be a pastors wife, and give guidance and devote my time to people who confide in me and I am not giving that to my husband, kids, or even GOD.


So today as my candle is burning, I pray that GOD molds me into the wife/mom and women of GOD that he wants me to be.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Making Your Home a Haven




This month I will be linking up with an amazing fall challenge over at Women living Well , Mrs.Courtney is amazing women of GOD, I look up to her!

Its a simple Challenge, If you are interested Click the link above, and link up!!~

Friday, August 6, 2010

My World, My Mommy

I cannot believe that Its been 17 years. 17 birthdays have passed and our lives have changed dramatically without you. Its not a good thing, or a bad thing, life just isn't complete. You went home to glory when I was 5 years old. I have no idea what its like to have a mom. I wish I did. I wish you were here just for one day so I could tell you how my life is been, so I could hug you, and give you a kiss, so you could hold me and tell me that everything is going to be okay. So I could hear your voice.
I know you are in a better place. I am so happy that you are not suffering anymore, that you have all of the joy in your heart. I know that you are in heaven with those grand babies that didn't make it. I just want you to know that I love you so much, and you are missed.


My mom died at 32 years old in Spokane, Wa on September 9, 1993. She left behind 3 daughters and a husband. I was just 5 years old.
Today (8.7.2010) she would be 49 years old.
Its so much harder now that I am older, then when I was younger. I guess its because I am married, she didn't get to meet him, WE are trying to start a family soon, she will never meet them. I just wish she was here to experience these things with me. I wish she was here to enjoy being a grandma. I know that she would have been a great one!
My advice to you all is, Love your parents... you never know when GOD will want them.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

What I am Loving Wednesday

I feel like I need to get more involved in the blogging community, and I love the fact that everyday of the week has all kinds of different themes. Well, I stumbled across this one. Miss Jamie over atThis kind of love posted an awesome entry called "what I am loving wednesday." and I thought I would join in.
I am so read for the fall, I bought a whole bunch of candles from Candles By Victoria And let me tell you, These are the best candles EVER! I have only been burning the tarts, which I got a jar of 40 tarts for $22.50. Which isn't bad! and Shipping is cheap! $8 for all orders, big or small.
Cartwheels in a Sari by Jayanti Tamm Is an amazing book! I am actually taking my time reading this book, but so far its amazing! I am only on Chapter 2... LOL don't judge me!
I am so late when it comes to watching this show, but I am slowly catching up! This is my new favorite show! I am hoping that I can catch up on the seasons before the new season starts.
If you like this post, come and join in! Click the link above to get to Jamie's blog!



Monday, August 2, 2010

House Hunting

We are house hunting!! We are moving to Arizona in a few months, and I cannot wait! The housing market in AZ is amazing right now! you can get nice homes for dirt cheap! Def a buyers market!
I have found my dream home! it is an amazing waterfront home with a pool! it has 5 bedrooms and 4 baths!
I love this home so much I made it my wallpaper on my computer and my Ipad!
Let me know what you all think of the house!
Click the link below to see more pictures!

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Day 1- Your favorite Song

This is so hard for me to do. I am a vocalist, I love music! I cannot pick a favorite Genre! I love anything from Celtic to Gospel, and everything in between. I am going to pick my top 3 favorites as of TODAY.

First on my list is Jamie Cullum's "Why do Today What you can do Tomorrow". This man has a silky smooth voice, when I am feeling Fallish he is my go to man!

Second on my list is Anthony Hamilton's "Point Of It All" This song reminds of my husband, so romantic.
Third, my absolute favorite song Hillsongs "For who you are". The lyrics say it all.
"Standing here, in Your presence
Thinking of the good things You have done
Waiting here, patiently
Just to hear Your still small voice again
Holy, righteous, faithful to the end
Savior, healer, redeemer and friend"

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

30 day blog

I have been seeing this go around, and I thought I would start this 30 day challenge thing! I need to be more involved on my blog, and this is a way i can become involved!!!! I will do my first post tomorrow!!!

Day 1 - your favorite song
Day 2 - your favorite movie
Day 3 - your favorite television program
Day 4 - your favorite book
Day 5 - your favorite quote
Day 6 - 20 of my favorite things
Day 7 - a photo that makes you happy
Day 8 - a photo that makes you angry/sad
Day 9 - a photo you took
Day 10 - a photo taken over 10 years ago of you
Day 11 - a photo of you recently
Day 12 - something you are OCD about
Day 13 - a fictional book
Day 14 - a non-fictional book
Day 15 - your dream house
Day 16 - a song that makes you cry (or nearly)
Day 17 - an art piece (drawing, sculpture, painting, etc)
Day 18 - my wedding/future wedding/past wedding
Day 19 - a talent of yours
Day 20 - a hobby of yours
Day 21 - a recipe
Day 22 - a website
Day 23 - a youtube video
Day 24 - where I live
Day 25 - your day, in great detail
Day 26 - your week, in great detail
Day 27 - my worst habit
Day 28 - whats in my handbag/purse
Day 29 - hopes,dreams and plans for the next 365 days
Day 30 - a dream for the future

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Happy Birthday to me!

Okay, I may be taking a small break from Twitter, and FB, but I am still updating my blog! Yesterday was my 22nd bday! And I can honestly say that I have had the best birthday yet! Wednesday we did not do anything because we had church, but today was a different story! We spent the day with our best friends Max and Ashleigh! They got me a really nice card, and stuff for my new espresso machine that my husband is buying me! I am so excited, I thought that was all but no! Ash and I went and did a little bit of shopping, and when we got back to their place our husbands made us dinner! We had steak and potatoes! It was AMAZING! We are some lucky girls! Max and Ashleigh are amazing! They are definitely our real true friends! There are some AMAZING things going on, and when I get back from my break I will explain more! Well, I miss you all so much!

Friday, July 2, 2010

MY Weight Loss Mission.

Its time for me to stop talking about it, and just do it. I have a significant amount of weight to lose! I need to lose about 80lbs. And by Jan 1st *if i'm not pregnant* I would love to be at my goal, if at it then I would like to be close to it.
Its going to take a lot of motivation, but I know I can do it.
So my lifestyle change will start AFTER the weekend, And I will start posting weekly updates, most likely fridays. Im excited! I can do it!!

Untitled

I am so sorry I have been neglecting you all. I have 30 followers and I haven't given you all anything to read! I sincerely apologize.
Nothing really has been going on in The Brady household.
I started school on Monday! I was super nervous, but after a few days I started to get the hang of it. I can honestly tell you all that me going to school right now was def. a divine appointment by GOD. They will no longer be accepting Education Majors at UoP after July! So GOD was really looking out for me!
There have been so many AMAZING things going on my our lives! I want to just tell you all of the exciting thing, but Im not going to right now, until the time is right. Im so excited, We have an amazing future to look forward to, I serve an amazing God!
I go on VACATION on the 16th! We are driving to Arizona, and we are going to be there for a week! Im so excited, so please expect a lot of videos, pictures, and blog posts!

Monday, June 14, 2010

She is doing what??

I am going back to school!!!!! I will be spending the next 2 years of my life at The University Of Phoenix getting my AA in Elementary Education!
I am so excited! After that I will either stay UoP and work on my Bachelors, or tranfer to one of our other universities!
I start June 21st!
I will be doing Online classes. They have a campus her in spokane, but I thought It would be easy for me to do online with my schedule.
Alot of people think that you are alone, you have no one to socialize with, but that is not true! The professor post discussions , They have 24 hour support, its so easy to meet people. I know alot of people who make friends and such.
I am excited, I cannot wait to get my career started! I want to teach Kindergarten.

Friday, June 11, 2010

My Herbal/Supplement regimen

I am in no what shape or form downing people who go see drs. GOD put them here for a reason! My husband and I chose to conceive "Naturally". I don't like being on hormones that could alter my thinking and such! GOD put things like herbs and stuff on this earth to help us as well! So for the last few months I have been doing my research on which supplements to take! So far I have a pretty good reg.
I take:
Liquid prenatal:
Its yummy, and fruity! and we all know the benefits of prenatal vitamins
Femaprin/Vitex:
Known as the female herb, it helps to regulate hormones and should be taken either the entire cycle or the first half from menstruation to ovulation.
Raspberry Leaf Tea:
You may take this herb during the entire cycle as it strengthens the uterine lining, thus helping to lengthen the luteal phase. But do ask your healthcare provider about continuing red raspberry leaf once pregnancy occurs. Usually, it should only be taken in the last trimester of pregnancy, because it “tones” the uterus.

So thats what I take right now, I Order some other things that I will be adding to my regimen
Licorice Extract:
Works like clomid! i am still doing some research on it
Progesterone Cream:
I am also looking at getting some Maca , and The fertility cleanse

Do you ladies have a regimen as well?

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Its Amazing

I swear the older I get the less I care about what people say, or think of me! I am proud of who I become, My marriage is solid, I am in love with the most amazing guy ever! My step son is amazing! Here are a few pointers for you all
  • I got married @ 18! I was a young bride and I am proud! I wouldn't change it for the world.
  • I'm 21 and *Gasps* Trying for a baby!
  • 2 years ago we almost got a divorce! But guess what? I serve a GOD who can mend anything.
For those of you who think I am to young to be married or to have a child, its your own opinion! We know we are ready and thats all that matters. We became homeowners at 20, and 22... how many people can say that? My husband has an amazing career, which is why I am able to be a SAHW... I love my life, I love my husband, and I love GOD. If you don't like it you can click the "x" in the top right corner!

God Bless

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Stop Worrying

"Its going to happen in Gods timing" Thats what I need to keep telling myself. Sometimes its hard to wait and be patient, and the reason why its so hard is because you see everyone else getting their blessing, its like i am reaching for it but someone else catches it before i can. LOL sometimes i think to myself, after 3 years you would think GOD would be like "Okay I have made you wait long enough" LOL. I have never been pregnant! I just want to know what its like to have someone who is going to love me unconditionally growing inside of me. I need to put notes saying "Be patient, its ALL in GODS timing" all over the house! I am also realizing that I cannot be envious, That I need to be happy for those who are expecting, and i need to stop avoiding them, so i have started supporting those who have graduated from the TTC community!

I am just excited about what GOD has waiting for me in my future, not just baby wise, but in life general! He has done so many things for us! My husband got 2 raises, our marriage was saved, We found the perfect church! I just don't understand how people don't believe in GOD, Its like once you feel his presence you are forever changed! Man, just thinking about it makes me want to cry. I want everyone to feel what I feel, he loves me unconditionally and he can love you the same way! You just gotta believe, and once you feel him you will never turn back, just to know that you are a child of the ROYAL king, and that he is preparing a place for you, is an amazing feeling. I could go on and on about the holy spirit, but I don't wanna bore you all!

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

So I have...

Traded in my lovely BB Storm 2 for a...
HTC Droid Eris.... And I am not turning back.

For those who know me, know that I once was a blackberry girl! No other phone could turn me away from my one true love. But, I have been converted! I have only had this phone for a day, and I am in love!
So, Who else has an Android phone? and who do you love the most about it??

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Faith

Sometimes I feel like the reason why I havent conceived yet is because i dont have enough faith or I let the worldly things et to me. I will talk about the faith later.
I have eliminated alot of worldly thingd from my life, I have quit cussing, I dont drink, or smoke, I have cut out certain types of music, I dont watch certain movies, or shows *even though The Hills is my guilty pleasure.*
But there is one thing that keeps holding me back, I have let it go for months, and then it creeps back into my life. I confess these things to the father. Sometimes I feel like I have an angel on one shoulder and the devil on the other. The Angel keeps telling me "No, you know your hearts desire, and if you keep it up you wont ger your blessing. And then the Devil keeps telling me "Its okay, just one more time, God wont punish you, he ALWAYS forgives".
My heart is going one way but my brain is going another. I can't say I dont know what to do, because I do know what to do. I need to keep praying, and declare over my life that I am free from this sin.
Now my faith, I have it... I talk to the lord, I pray to him. The one thing I dont do is I dont read my word daily like I should. Im not motivated to. I do good for about a week, then I just stop. Sometimes I feel like GOD doesnt hear my prayers, then I go to church and then I hear everyone getting their blessings, but me. Dont get me wrong I acknowledge him, I am blessed, and I thank him for the things he has done foe me. But I want to hear his voice, I want to be able to have a testimony to tell. This entry probably doesnt make sense, but thats just my feeling. Its crazy because as I was writing this entry *During church* It was like my faith was renewed! The message was def. for me. The message was about sifting in the spirit, and the reason why I am feeling like this is probably because GOD is sifting me, so I can get my blessing.
I Wanted to share a song with you all... This is def. my theme song of the week!

Monday, May 24, 2010

Stupid Comcast!!

I feel like I am neglecting everyone, Especially everyone who is doing ICLW!!
Comcast, is being REALLY stupid right now, and no one is able to come by until next Wednesday...
This sucks!
Tomorrow I have A LOT to catch up on, and I have A LOT of commenting to do!
Please don't forget about me!!!
I will try to write a entry from my BB tonight!
We will see!!

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Sunday, May 16, 2010

So... I guess Its No then....

I had a LONG talk with my older sister *Who is like my mother* about cloth diapers, and I have come to the conclusion that it will not work into my lifestyle! I know that by having children my life will change alot, but I am a VERY busy person, and Its not going to change when we add to our family.
Let me give you a little break down on our week!
Monday:
*5-7pm: Youth Worship Practice (Im not on the Youth Worship team but my husband is over the musicians and I help out with the Vocalist)
*7-9Pm: Leadership School (Its our church's bible college, which I know I will have to put on hold once we have a baby, they don't provide childcare
*7-8pm: Once a month we have prayer
Tuesday:
*10-11:45 am :Womens Bible Study
*5:30-6:45: Worship Team Practice
*7-8:30ish: Midweek service
Thank GOD child care is provided at each service
Wednesday:
*6-6:45 Worship team practice
*7-8:30ish: Midweek service
Thursday:
*5:30-9pm- Worship Team practice
Friday:
*Day off
Saturday:
*Hubby has students from 9am-7pm
Sunday:
*8-9am pre-service rehearsal
*9am service
*11am service
Then we start our week over again...
For some of you it may not seem like a lot, BUT I am a BUSY SAHW.
During the day I am running Errands for my husband.
Shoot I BARELY have time to clean my house, let alone do laundry....
Okay alot of you may not agree with this, but its NOT cost efficient for me.
I was doing some research, and now they have Chlorine free diapers, which we will use!
I don't have time to be scrubbing stains off the diapers and stuff!
Is this going to make me a bad mom?
No, We have to go with what fits in our lifestyle.
I want to be the best mom I can be, and by me neglecting things like scrubbing crap off diapers and stuff, will make me feel like I am a bad mom. And I know myself, I get unmotivated quick!
But So you all know, I will be a Co-sleeping, Baby wearing, breastfeeding, selective Vaxing, momma!

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Wordless Wednesday *I'm ready...*

To be a mother!
With all of the BFP's this weekend, it made me realize how ready I am.
LORD, Im ready!

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

When Will it be?

Am I going to see this month after month?
3 years we have tried, 3 years we have been heartbroken.
I just want to know what it feels like to have apart of me growing inside of me.
Yesterday we were so hopeful, We saw the line!
I took another test this morning, and I saw the faint line...
I had to know if it was a BFP or not so I snuck out and got a digital test.
I prayed and prayed... Trying not to get my hopes up.
I swear that was the longest 2 mins of my life.
In that two mins my life could have changed.
But here I am with an empty womb, and a Negative pregnancy test to prove it...
Lord, Do you hear my prayers?
I'm ready.

Friday, May 7, 2010

Show Us Your Life- Kids Names

I don't usually participate in things like this but Kelly over at Kelly's Korner ,Wanted us to share with you all our Kids/future kids names.
I am not a mommy yet, but My husband and I have been picking out names for our future children since we got married!
And yes they have changed, but we are getting somewhere!
DH and I want 5 kids! well, 6 including SS.
I want to have 3 boys and 2 girls! But GOD might not see fit, so I need to have 5 boy names picked and 5 girl names picked! LOL and when the time comes I will choose from a hat! Crazy huh??
LOL Kinda!
I only have 2 girl names and 2 boy names.
**Girls**
Naomi Renae Brady- I absolutely love this name! and it flows!
It means Beautiful, or pleasant! Naomi is also a bible name! She was Ruth's Mother in law, and Jesus was her ancestor! Such a powerful name!
Noelle Janae Brady- I love this name for a little girl! But will only name my daughter Naomi if she is born in the winter time LOL
**Boys**
Nehemiah James Brady- Which means Consoled by God. Nehemiah was a strong leader in the bible! He wrote The book of Nehemiah. He was truly a man after Gods heart.
Joel- We have no middle name for him yet! But I love it! Joel means God is willing. Also a powerful name.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

I got a NEW tattoo!!!

Please excuse my Ashiness, and the dirtyness!
My husbands office is so messy!
Oh and!!! My husband GOT A RAISE!!!! WHOOP!!!
Thank you Jesus!!!!

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Im on a mission.....


To look like This again!!!





I was 18, 50lbs lighter... and single! LOL I actually took these pictures the day i met my hubby! Love makes you gain weight! I wasnt the skinniest, But I was cute! and I was wearing a size 14/15!!!! Buy the end of the summer i want to be 50lbs lighter! by my 22nd bday *7/7* I want to be 25lbs lighter! Wish me luck yall!!!

Friday, April 30, 2010

Top 10 homes!

Patrick and I would love to sell our current house and buy our forever home soon! So Out of boredom i went and found our top 10 homes! The first 9 are in no particular order, but the last house I would buy today! So enjoy! Don't forget to click the links for more pictures!
This home is priced right! But it does not have enough bedrooms, it only has 3! And its out dated. I love the backyard.

Another small home! Well, not really it has about 3400sqft.. I think thats with the garage included! I just love the large front yard, and the updated kitchen! I love cape cod style homes! Its DEF. at the top of our price range.

This home needs A LOT Of work! But I love the curb appeal! the backyard is my favorite!
This house seems like it would be a lot of work! and I don't think it has a backyard! But I love the inside!
I don't know why I like this home! LOL, I just do!

Needs A LOT of updating as well! But I love the yard! I mean look how much front yard there is! And its the PERFECT location!


Another Cap Cod!! *SWOONS* Its small, but I love the oldness of it!

Perfect number of bedrooms, perfect number of bathrooms! Its just so old looking! So this one would need a lot of updating as well!

When I say this home is PERFECT, I mean its perfect! Everything about it! Its updated, throughout, The price is right! I could see myself living here! I bet you all are wondering why it isn't my #1 pick right?
The area its in! I grew up in the Valley, Graduated from University High school... But I love the South Hill! and I will NEVER move back to the Valley! If this house was on the Hill, I would buy it today LOL!



Its new! The yard is big, and its in the school district we want our kids to go to! This house does need a little updating, but nothing i wouldn't mind doing myself! its high in our price range, but Its amazing!!!

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

I Love Him

This man is my world! Words cannot express how much I love my husband!
He is such a hard worker! And he takes good care of me.
I would say I am VERY spoiled LOL!
He is an amazing father to his son, He is an amazing husband to me. He is an amazing man of GOD.
Who knew that I would fall in love with him and marry him after 4 short days!
I could honestly say that was the best thing I could have ever done!
Patrick, I love you so much! Thank you for being there for me, and thank you for loving me unconditionally, you mean everything to me! And I cannot wait to give you more babies! Who knows, I might give you the 10 you want....

Thursday, April 22, 2010

ICLW- First Timer

Well, I am a first timer ICLWer! I hope i am not to late to join!
A little bit about myself, I am 21 years old! Happily married to my husband of 3 years! We got married young, and pretty quick. Together we dont have any kids! We have been TTC for 3 years, and I know we are going to concieve soon, I am speaking it into existance! My husband has a 6 year old boy!
I am a stay at homewife, and I love it! My husband works full time at our church! Its his dream job! I love GOD with all of my heart, he is def. a priority!
We are first time homeowners! Which Is amazing, I love owning my own home. We have lived in out house for about a year and 4 months now, and we are FINALLY starting rennovations! Besides that I love scrapping, and meeting new people!!

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

A Letter for you...

Dear Nehemiah/Noelle,
I was just sitting here thinking about how wonderful life would be if you were here. I just want to let you know that I love you so much, and I cannot wait to hold you and kiss you! You are so loved, and you have so many people here who are awaiting your arrival! You know Mommy, and Daddy have been trying for 3 years now, We have put all of our trust in GOD, so when know once you are concieved it will be perfect.
I am scared at time though, Will i be a great mother? Will I be someone you look up to? Will we argue? Will we have a close relationship? Those are things i have to pray for. I want to be a great role model to you, I want you to be able to tell me everything and anything! There will be no secerts.
Even though I dont know you, even though you arent growing inside of me yet I just want you know that I am so in love with you, You dont know how good your life will be! Your daddy works so hard, and I will be home with you all day, there wont be any second that we arent together.
My promise to you is you will never be put in harms way, you will be loved unconditionally, GOD will be your priority, and you will serve him and love him with all your heart. I want you to remember that your feelings come before mine, and I will make sure that you have a comfy life, you wont have to want for anything, and all your needs will be met.
I cannot wait to read this letter you! I know its going to be sooner than later. Nehemiah or Noelle, I love you!

Love,
Your Mommy

Saturday, April 17, 2010

We are getting in the groove of things.

So it has been a whole week since my step son has arrived, and what a week it has been.
Alot of ups, and a whole lot of downs, since i have expressed this to you all. alot has changed. We are a weekend family now, and not because of the talk i had with my husband, which i will let you all know how that went in a few.
Anyways, We had Ryan enrolled at a school 2 blocks from our house, everything was going well until his mom decides to move some place else, and enroll him at a different school. My husband was heated. This lady is unstable, She doesnt know if she is coming or going. Right now Ryan needs to be with us, where there is stablilty and structure. You can see it in his actions. We need to have full custody. He is 6, can't say full sentences, he doesnt understand the simple things. It breaks my heart, and she doesnt care. If he was in our care full time, he would be in speech classes. Its a sad thing.
Now on to my talk with my husband, I let him know how i was feeling, and of course he was upset, but we talked through it, and things are already better. I didnt want to "lose" my husband. Since I have my husband back I am becoming a better "mother". I may be a strict one, but I am realizing that I love it, and I love my step son. I was talking to my MIL, and she kinda made me mad, she was like " I bet you like playing mama". the fact that she said that I am playing mom hurt me. I dont think i am playing mom. Im living it, It may be on weekends, but Its real. And I cannot wait to add more to the mix!
Who is loving this spring weather? I know I am, I have my back door open! such a nice breeze! We have gotten so much done in our backyard! pretty soon we will be able to entertain back there!
Today I went to another baby shower! It was alot of fun! Alot of the women there are already moms, which kinda made me feel like an outcast, but it was okay, alot of the women there were telling me to take note on the things I will need to my baby! this may sound weird, but I cannot wait until I am losing sleep, I cannot wait until I feel my baby moving around inside of me. I cannot wait until I am being called mommy by my children!
All those things will be happening soon! I am claming it!

Friday, April 16, 2010

Home Tour

Well, on twitter there has been this twitter home tour craze, and I thought I would join in! I dont have many pictures up yet! We have lived in our home of for a year and a half, and JUST now started decorating, and stuff! but as soon as we are done i will update! Below i have a couple videos of my house the night we moved in, and a video of a huge backyard *half acre* which we are finally working on!! Im gonna have grass the summer! lol



















Photobucket
Photobucket

Monday, April 12, 2010

Is he going to feel the same way?

I have been so emotional since my step son has been here. I dont want anyone to feel sorry for me, but i am not myself! I am out of my element! Its weird, I am around babys and kids all the time on sunday... and I love them to death... Its so easy for me to bond with them, but with him its so hard! Everything changed so suddenly! Im so use to being able to help out at the church, or go do what i want, but now i cant! I know, I know, its going to be like that when i have kids... but they will be MY kids, my flesh and blood, and thats what I want!! I feel bad for feeling this way, but he isnt my kid! maybe i am feeling this way because i am not use to him being here. like i said in my other entry, if he was in our life from the beginning it would be easier. And to top it off when my step son was here the last time, my husband and I had a falling out over his ex. I found text messages on his phone that they were sending back and forth.. my husband and her were basically trying to get back with eachother... he told her that he wanted to be a family again... so i still dont trust my husband, and i sure as hell dont trust him around the ex... so to me i feel like SS *Stepson* brings back all those feeling they had for eachother... Shw wants my husband still, and as far as im concerned my husband feels the same way. We have talked it over, and he says he was caught up in the moment... but i still dont trust him, or her.
Then I start to think about when we have our kids... Will my husband love them as much as he loves his son? I asked my husband a few months ago if he is going to cry when our first is born.. and his answer was, No, it wont be my first, i have been there and done that! I was so surprised when he said that, and i was hurt too. I dont know, i just hate the way i feel right now! I see other blended families and they seem so happy. So why cant i?
maybe once i have my own kids it will be easy. But i wish we could share the birth of our first together, but instead it will be my first, his second...
I hate feeling this way.
Let me know if you all are tired of reading about this... lol i will stop talking about it!

Sunday, April 11, 2010

I just can't shake this feeling

My husband and I have been married for 3 years, and in those 3 years His son came to visit us twice! I would say that the combined visits adds up to about a month, thats not alot. My husband and I talked about me bonding with his son, he tells me that sometimes he feels like i dont love his son, which is not true! I love him, its just that i dont know him! I am not use to him being around, things are still awkward between us! Yes he calls me mom, but sometimes i feel like my husband forces him to call me mom, my husband will force him to tell him that he loves me! I want him to do it on his own terms, not because dad tells him to. And sometimes I feel jealous of their bond... I wish I had a child that i could hold and love on... I cant believe that i am saying that I am jealous of my own husband! but I am... I am so afraid to tell my husband how i feel. I dont want to be the step mom that hates their step kids. I had one of those, and it sucked! I think that if Ryan was here from the beginning things would be different. I want to be a good mother figure, but its going to take some time. I should really talk to my husband about my feelings. As soon as i do, i will let you all know how the conversation went!

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Scrapbooking

My latest obession! I love it, it keeps my mind of alot! I worry ALOT, and it keeps me busy.

So far i have done about 6 or 7 scrap pages! And I thought i would share them with you... But before I do let me tell you the meaning behind this scrapbook and why it is so important to me. As we all know I am trying to concieve (Duh!). Well someone told me i should start a scrapbook for my son (I know I am having a boy first). She made a scrapbook for her future husband, and it is just amazing! So she gave me a whole bunch of boy scrapbooking things... and let me tell you ever since then have been obessed! I love it... the cool thing is, the only thing i will have to do is adhere the pictures when he is born and stuff! *Look at me talking like he is already here! So here we go, my scrap pages!!! Nehemiah James Will be his name! Yes, I am missing the "H"!! This was my first scrap page.

This page says "When We Found Out" LOL my scrapping was horrible!

Just a simple scrap page!


Hey, look! Im getting a little better!!! I added this poem!
"A Father's Prayer

Lord I'm askin� for Your help
To raise my newborn son,
Give me strength and guide me
�Cause I know that You're the one.

That sent this angel to me
A little heaven here on earth,
For now I know my place in life...
I'm no longer who comes first.

Once I had no answer
As to why it is I'm here,
But when I looked into my baby's eyes....
It all became so clear.

This little bit of heaven
Owns me, heart and soul
And it's You that sent him to me
A greater love I'll never know.

So take these rugged hands of mine
Help me to understand,
Just what it is I need to do
To raise this little man.

Help me build a boy that knows
It's You that holds the key,
To all that heaven holds for us
Show him Your love through me.
"

Mommy & ME!!! I forgot what quote i used lol!



This has to be my favorite page. I have this lovely quote
" "A newborn baby has only three demands. They are warmth in the arms of its mother, food from her breasts, and security in the knowledge of her presence. Breastfeeding satisfies all three"



And this is another one of my favorite scrap pages that I did!!!












Thursday, March 18, 2010

Test

Testing
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Excited, Nervous, and Sad... all at the same time


I am writing this blog post as I watch ANTM... I dont think I am really feeling these ladies!! LOL I dont like Catty, Ghetto girls!! ugh! I also havent been feeling well as well... I have been having these waves of nausea... It sucks! I am not getting my hopes up about might being pregnant, but There is a STONG possiblity!!!




Lets get to why I am really writing the entry... Here is alittle back history about me... When I was 5 years old, my mother passed away! that was almost 17 years ago. I grew up with the best father, and amazing sisters ever! My dad and my sisters are my best friends, and my dad tried his best to be a mother and a father! in my opinion, he was the best!! Well, eventually I met patrick, and we got married! I took that really hard, because my mother will NEVER get to meet my husband, she will never see me happy and in love... But for some reason, when i think about becoming a mom it hurts me more... I am so excited to become a mother, and all the nervousness comes along with it... but it makes me sad... I will have to let my kids know that that their grandma passed away a long time ago... In the middle of the night when my babies are crying, and I dont know what to do, I wont be able to call my mom...


I dont know, I just feel like i missed out on alot of things in life, being able to tell my mom I love her... the fact that she wont be in the delievery room with me, or plan my baby shower hurts me... I know she is up in heaven watching me... but it still is very sad... Eventually I will give you all my history! Let you all know where i came from....






Here is a picture of my BEAUTIFUL mommy, and my older sister!! We love you and miss you so much mom!!
Alicia Latonya Hill
1962-1993



My older sister Ebonee, My second mom! After my mom died she helped dad raise us... The She is the best sister anyone could ask for!! She is a wonderful mom, and I hope to be a good mom like her! her and my niece and nephew are my heart!!

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Tierra-ology

FOODOLOGY:

What is your salad dressing of choice? Ranch, or honey mustard... or money hustard... lol i sometimes say that!

What is your favorite sit-down restuarant? Tomatoe Street

What is your favorite fast food restaurant? ummm... hmmm.... Subway?

What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of? Sweet ans sour chicken

What are your pizza toppings of choice? Pepperoni

How many televisions are in your house? 2 (what does this have to do with food?)<---- LOL I know right?!

What color cell phone do you have? black... But it has a pink hardcase over it
BIOLOGY:

Are you right-handed or left-handed? right

Have you ever had anything removed from your body? nope

What is the last heavy item you lifted? Call me spoiled but I dont lift heavy things! lol my hubby does! I did however lift and move the microwave!

Have you ever been knocked unconscious? nah

Have you ever fainted? no

BULLCRAPOLOGY:

If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die? not at all

If you could change your name, what would you change it to? I love my name so no

How many pairs of flip flops do you own? to many to count
Last person you talked to? Huns buns

FAVORITOLOGY:

Season? spring and summer

Holiday? Christmas
Day of the week? Saturday

Month? July
Color? pink

Drink? agua!

Alcoholic? no! I have had 2 drinks since my 21st bday! which was in july!
CURRENTOLOGY:

Missing someone? yes

What are you listening to? Americas next top model
What are you watching? same as above

Worrying about? Nothing right now!
What’s the last movie you saw? Precious
Do you smile often? yes

If you could change your eye color what would it be? I love my eye color!
What’s on your wish list for your birthday? To be preggo! if I get pregnant this month i will be around 4 months pregnant!

Can you do a chin-up? nope

Does the future make you more nervous or excited? It makes me very excited!
Have you been in a car wreck? no i havent
Have you caused a car wreck? no
Do you have an accent? nope! unless you consider a valley girl accent as an accent?! LOL

Last time you cried? Today

Plans tonight? just to relax and paint with the bubs!
Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom? oh yeah

Name three things you bought yesterday? Shaving cream, candy, dinner

Have you met someone who changed your life? def, my baby

For the better or worse? better

How did you bring in the New Year? we were at church!!

Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? to get to know my mom! She died when i was 5

What songs do you sing in the shower? omg! what dont i sing in the shower?

Have you held hands with someone today? yes

Who was the last person you took a picture of? my baby sis

Are most of the friends in your life new or old? new!

Do you like pulpy orange juice? no
Last time you ate peanut butter and jelly? omg, its been forever

What were you doing at 12 a.m. last night? sleeping
What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up? thank you GOD for letting me see another day!

Why Do I feel this way??

So, Today my really good friend gave birth to a perfectly healthy baby girl!
I am suppose to be happy right??
Thats not the case!
The whole time i was @ the hospital I had to hold back me tears!
I didnt even want to hold her!
Why?
Because it hurt so stinking bad!
I want to be able to hold my baby girl or boy.
I want people to come visit to me in the hospital!
Crazy to say, but i want to spend a few days in the hospital!!
I watched my friend get excited about the birth of her child, and all i could do was cry inside...
I smile big, and I act happy, but really I am not!
It hurt so bad to be in the maturnity wing, seeing all of the smiling mommies, and the crying babies.
Out of the 3 years that we have been trying this was the hardest day in my life! I kept it in until we got to our car, and I just cried like a baby...
My husband tried his best to cheer me up. it worked for a little bit.
But I still feel this void...
I want a child of my own!!!
After we left the hospital, we went and ran sn errans!
Our firends asked us to come back to the hospital, so we did!
I put my big girl panties on and held the baby...
my heart melted!
Hearing those coos, and feeling her breath didnt make it worst.
It made me remeber that GOD knows what he is doing... It made me remember his promis!
He knows the wants and the needs of my heart!
I just need to remember to put HIM first, and put ALL of my trust in him...
He wont let me down!
I just need to be patient...
So, On monday I am making an appointment for me and my husband, to see a specialist..
We want toget an SA done..
I want to get back on the Prometrium pills, and clomid... Like i did 2 yearsd ago! And I did ovulate, so that was good.
We do want to do things as natural as possible, but nothing is wrong with doing one cycle with help!
along with that I will be working out and dieting!
I dont want to get to crazy, or a head of myself!

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

A-Z survey!

A. Age: 21
B. Bed Size: King
C. Chore you hate: putting away laundry... I hate it!!
D. Dog's name: CoCo, and Tippy
E. Essential "Start the Day" Item: The word! aka Bible
F. Favorite Color: I love pink and cream...
G. Gold or Silver: White Gold
H. Height: 5' 1"
I. Instruments You Play: None!!!!
J. Job Title: Domestic Engineer! aka housewife
K. Kids: We want 5 or 6! Hopefully Our first will arrive in 2011
L. Living Arrangements:First time home owner!! I live in a 3 bedroom *soon to be 5* 1 bath *Soon to be 2* House. With my hubby
M. Mom's Name:Alicia *Rest In Peace Mommy!!! 1961-1993
N. Nickname:Tee
O. Overnight Hospital Stay:never
P. Pet Peeve:When hubby leaves his clothes laying around the house
Q. Quote From a Movie: "Anything For Selenas!!" From selena!! Thats the only onee i could think of LOL!!!
R. Righty or Lefty: Righty
S. Siblings: 6 sisters!!
T. Time You Wake Up: 7:00am
U. Underwear:I wear them! LOL I hahte thongs though
V. Veggie You Dislike: Eggplant
W. Ways Reasons You are Late: Im never late!
X. Xrays You've Had: Teeth and Ankle
Y. Yummy Food You Make:Soul Food!
Z. Zoo Animals You Like:bearssss!

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Maybe baby??

Well, I am speaking it into existance!! I know that MY God is going to make me a mother!! I have a friend at church, and she calls me all the time, and she is always saying, This month your going to get pregnant! At first i was like yeah, he is... But I am just now recieving it and speaking it! also a few people have been having dreams about me being pregnant! The crazy thing is, they had their dreams in the same week! And my Pastors wife has been having a feeling that I will be getting pregnant here in the NEAR future! I am so excited to see what GOD has in store for my husband and I! I just gotta stay prayerful, stay in my word, and hokd on to his promise! It was funny I was talking to our Pastors daughter who is also pregnant, and she told us to do it the Seth and Brittany way which is doing it every other day! And It worked!! She is now 14 weeks pregnant! GOD is just so good! And sometimes I wonder how people dont believe in him! He has done so much for my husband and I, and it makes me cry, because if you put your trust in him, and if you are committed, he will answer thoise prayers! But you just cant pray until you get what you want! it needs to be a daily thing, you need to be in your word daily, and you need to be in church! I dont want to preach at you all but its what you need to do! GOD will not answer yor prayers or bless you until you are committed and faithful!

I am loving these giveaways!

There is ANOTHER awesome giveaway going on!!! Check it out!!!

Monday, March 8, 2010

Attention!!!! GIVEAWAY!!

So, a fellow Domestic Goddess is having a give away!!1 Go check it out!!!

Bathroom Renovation:Progess

I am pretty sure you all are TIRED of reading about my bathroom Reno!! But I am so excited! We have been dragging out feet alittle bit though! Well, hubby has! He doesnt want me to do anything without him! so here are a few pictures of the bathroom before!!

This is looking in to our small bathrrom! Behind the door is our stand up shower
The mirror is down now, new mirror will be up after we paint, new vanity next month!!

The previous owners GLUED these hooks on! new curtains will go up next month


After we took the mirror down! So disgusting!!!


They did a CRAPPY job with the blacksplash tile! There are so many gaps